Just Write Already...

I don't know what it is, but I've been resisting the urge to write lately. I need to just get over it and DO IT! I feel so much better when I do. Sadly, I've had a ton to write about, yet I'm not.

I guess I've just been building up too many expectations in my mind and it ultimately paralyzes me from taking action. I'm just too in my head these days. I worry about what people will think or say. I don't want to be boring. I fear criticism and judgement. And as much as I don't want to care about what other people think, it still affects me. I HATE that! I hate that I allow other people's 'stuff' to have an impact on me. I have to make it a priority to change this about myself. I'm recognizing that this is one of my life lessons; one thing I'm supposed to conquer in this life.

Anyway, my intention of starting this blog was for me to have an outlet to dump stories about my journey. I wanted to be brutally honest about becoming a mom and the impact it is having  on my life. I wanted to share the good, the bad and the ugly. Here I am completely resisting and withholding stories that I KNOW others can relate to and find comfort.

I'm realizing it all comes down to mindset, commitment and pushing through fear. Enough is enough! Time to get writing and moving forward.

If you're reading, hold me accountable! Don't let me allow fear and excuses prevent me from documenting my journey!

In Good Company - Suzanne Evans

Are you in good company?

I've been on ah-ha moment overload all weekend! I went to see Suzanne Evans live on the Help More People Tour in St. Louis. I have to say, she completely blew me away! WAY beyond my expectations (and I thought she would totally rock, but WOW)!

I'm sure I'll be discussing a lot of ah-ha moments moving forward, but one of the things I realized is how important it is to surround yourself with like minded people. And not just like minded people, but people of greatness; people that have achieved and accomplished thing things in life you're bound and determined to achieve.



(I have to say, I started this post on November 1st when I returned home from St. Louis and obviously, I was interrupted! Five month olds can do that pretty easily!)

Back to the point. I've been meeting some really incredible people lately; people that inspire me, challenge me, motivate me, and maybe a few that somewhat intimidate me. All of those things are good! I want to be more, do more.

Now that it has been a few weeks after seeing Suzanne, I have a little different perspective on my experience there. Honestly, it was bitter-sweet. I was excited to mingle among high achievers, doers; people that make a huge impact in the lives of others. I was inspired and encouraged to see their transformations in their business make-overs.

I'm realizing I should side-step here. Suzanne Evans works with "helpingpreneurs" (entrepreneurs that are in the business of helping others) to effectively market and monetize their passions. She's extremely gifted with what she does!

Anyway, back to what I was saying. I'm watching all of this transformation in the room throughout the day. I'm seeing people cry because the light bulb finally went off and they know exactly what they need to do moving forward in their business. It was exciting!

Toward the end of the day, I started to have a little bit of a meltdown. How embarrassing. I was quietly tearing up in the front row as I watched the last business make-over. It hit me - I'm living at about five percent of my potential...if that. Holy crap! What am I doing? I've been allowing fear to hold me back for some time now. I've been making excuse after excuse to not take action. I started to feel angry, frustrated. Before long, I was just plain PISSED!

I saw people with established businesses; people that have already taken that leap of faith and put themselves out there. I've seen their websites. I receive the newsletters of some of them. It was pretty amazing to see this other side; to see their stumbling blocks, their fears and hang ups. It was nice to see that I'm not the only one with fears, insecurities, excuses holding me back. Although everyone was at different stages in their journey of entrepreneurship, we could all relate to the emotions that come with putting ourselves out there.

I think we all realized that we now have each other to learn from, to gain support from and even business partnerships and alignments.

What I'm learning is that when you have a nudge to do something in your life; if you're truly passionate about something; take that leap of faith and go for it!

Make sure you're in good company. Find a way to minimize or eliminate the nay-sayers in your world. Attach yourself to people that build you up, encourage you, teach and mentor you. Align with people that have common interests, values, beliefs and motivations in life. It's amazing how quickly your life can change and you just begin to start finding ways to make it all happen!

Put On Your Big Girl Pants!

I'm a little speechless right now...and embarrassed. Obviously, I haven't posted in a while (shame on me). I also just noticed that I actually have people reading and following my blog. I don't know what I thought was going to happen when I listed it on Twitter, but I really am kind of speechless and shocked if I'm perfectly honest.

So, I've talked about the whole fear thing before. I'm putting myself out there now in ways I never have before and I find myself frustrated with how much fear and intimidation get in my way. I find myself saying horrible things like "Come on ya big wuss, stop holding back. What are you so freakin' afraid of? Just DO IT!" And when I don't "Just DO IT"... When I freeze up, I get really ticked off with myself. I'm trying to remind myself not to be so harsh and approach my fears with affirmations or incantations instead. It's really a mindset change that I'm working on. What a battle though. Every day, facing new, uncharted territory. I just have to keep in mind what I'm working toward and take one hurdle at a time.

My new phrase is "Put on your big girl pants today and make it happen!" I have to laugh at myself when I say that and remember not to take any of it too seriously. I'm going to make mistakes. I'm going to get embarrassed. I'm going to feel stupid every now and then, but through it all, I will have successes that push me to the next level. I WILL see through to my dreams and live my purpose. I think I just have to remember at the start of the day to put on my big girl pants and know that I can do anything with the right mindset.

Fear Factor

I have to be honest, FEAR is still a factor for me! Cliches aside, I really am facing my fears HEAD ON day to day now. I feel like I'm definitely being tested, but at the same time, blessed. I know that might sound weird.

Opportunities are coming my way beyond what I could have dreamt for myself. I think this is probably the second time HUGE opportunities have come my way when I've least expected it. We're talking life changing!

The first time around was when my (now) husband walked into my life. We met on the beach in Florida on a day that neither one of us planned to go to the beach. Each of us, for our own reasons, tried to talk our way out of going. All I know is that I'm so thankful that fate convinced us both to show up that day and come together in the ocean. I know...who meets their future spouse IN the ocean?! Call me cheesy, but I do believe in fate, destiny and most definitely a higher power. No question! I look back now (especially now that my 8 week old son is here) and am completely blown away at where my life has taken me. We have a little wall hanging (that he would probably rather not have posted in our kitchen) that says, "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all." That sums it up PERFECTLY. I know we'll look back on our modest beginnings with thanks and the fondest of memories.

And now... I've been praying and asking for answers about how I'm supposed be contributing outside of my roles as wife and mother. I've been feeling this strong tug. It's difficult to explain. I can pin point the actual day everything started to feel different; March 6, 2009. It may have actually started the day before, but SUNK in on the 6th. Either way, I had this overwhelming sense that everything was shifting.

For one thing, I walked away from my job, which meant that I was walking away from a paycheck in the midst of one of history's biggest economic crashes. I knew that my life was about to change in a huge way...and not just because I was going to be giving birth in a couple months to our first child; even bigger than that! I've had this unexplained excitement and sense of optimism...even with all the fears I've always had. It isn't like they just lifted. As a matter of fact, I still have them.

I guess I would say that my mindset is changing. I realize now that life is incredibly short. We have no idea how much time we have to live the life we're MEANT to live. If I allow fear to hold me back, I will have failed. I will have wasted my days on the insignificant and missed out on my true purpose. I will have settled on mediocrity. I will end up leaving this earth with regret and unfulfilled destiny.

We hear about that all the time...people on their death beds with regret. Quotes about living like we're dying. It's not a new concept by any means, BUT my gut is really feeling it now. I'm uncomfortable. I GET IT! I HAVE to overcome these fears and pursue what I'm meant to do here on this earth.

I'm learning. It's becoming more and more clear, but one day at a time. I can't "fix" it all and create it all in a day. It's all about perspective. I'm feeling it though! Stay tuned!